If you have ever been on an I-can’t-make-this-shit-up kind of date then I want to hear from you!

What’s the most bizarre date you have been on? I’ve been sharing my dating tales of woe from the depths of hell that I call the Manhattan dating pool with you for a couple of years and it’s time to switch it up and turn the tables. I want to hear from you! I want to hear your “I seriously can’t make this $hit up” date story. Don’t be shy!

I know you have at least one or several hundred dating stories bouncing around your head just waiting to be shared. And if you don’t have a story then I would say you haven’t been on enough dates. You know when you’re sitting with your friends dissecting your last failed [insert Tinder, SCRUFF, Match, Bumble, fill-in-the-blank dating app/site here] date, telling them about the crazy antics he/she displayed, and you’re in shock as to how this person made it through what you thought was your bulletproof screening process. Kind of like the guy I dated who I nicknamed “Crazy Eyes.” We made it all the way to the third date but when I felt his giant dark eyes burning a hole through the side of my head at a showing of Avenue Q every time I laughed, there was no fourth date.

Sometimes we have high hopes that the next person we swipe right on could be a real keeper, except when they show up to the date they don’t even remotely resemble their profile pictures that made you swipe right in the first place or they say or do something ridiculous, leaving us single again to share our stories over vodka and soda to the bartenders at our local bar. Maybe they pulled a ghosting act or said or did something to make you pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming, and when you realize that what you were experiencing was real you had to figure out an escape plan. Like that time I called my roommate in the bathroom to help me come up with an exit strategy because my date was way skinnier than I was and totally high out of his mind! See question three at the end of this column.

After yet another great escape, we dust ourselves off, keep our heads held high, and move on to the next date who could be a real keeper! I’ve always been a hopeful romantic and so should you. I eloped at 21, was divorced by 26, and although I still haven’t had my cliché walk along the highline, I remain optimistic and positive that one day the right guy will find me. Until then all I can do is just keep on living my life to the fullest and so should you because when we do meet our partners we will be much more wiser and open to sharing our lives with someone.

We can all relate to the feeling of excitement when meeting someone new. That person who looks good on paper, maybe even calls you on the phone before your first date instead of texting; they sound like someone you want to meet and maybe this time around you won’t waste your time, energy, and calories.

I sometimes like to do the dog test. If the guy makes it to a few dates we will walk my dog together. If your dog doesn’t like your date, then it’s usually a red flag and maybe you shouldn’t like them, either. How do I know this? My dog, Valentino, peed on my date once. I took it as a sign of nothing good to come. Valentino was right because I never saw the guy again.

(This is Valentino. He’s always happy to see me and never talks back.)

If you’ve ever asked yourself any of the following questions please email me one of your craziest dating experiences that you’re willing to share and we can schedule a Skype of phone interview. I will ask you a few harmless questions. All names will remain anonymous to protect the guilty.

1: How did he/she slip through the cracks and make it to the second, third, etc., date?

2: Your date ghosted on you! You’ve wondered if they slipped and fell into the Hudson river because you thought the chemistry was there, you made plans to see each other again, and then poof! They vanish into thin air never to be seen or heard from again.

3: Your date said or did something so ridiculously unbelievable that you excuse yourself during the date to text your bestie in the bathroom to try and plot an escape plan. I once told my date that my neighbor’s kitchen was flooding into my apartment below and the cats were drowning, so I had to get home ASAP. A little extreme, I know, but it could have been true, right?

I’m looking for people to share their most funniest (bizarre, i-can’t-make-this-shit-up, did that seriously just happen) dating and relationship experiences with me. How many times have you locked eyes with one another as you arrived for your first date and knew it wouldn’t end well? Or what about the time you first locked eyes with one another and from that moment on you knew your life was going to change?Do you remember the first time you found his toothbrush in the medicine cabinet when he didn’t even sleep over? Or that time you farted in your sleep and held your breath so she didn’t wake up? If you can relate to any of these questions I want to interview you! Or if you just want to get a dating story off your chest to be featured on my blog and social media please email me at marygenevanyc@gmail.com . I look forward to hearing from you!